Before heading back to work from Christmas vacation, I made the decision that 2020 was going to be the year of me. I have been giving to others for years. It is time to give back to myself - beginning by tapping into my creative side. I’m grateful for the Introduction to Creative Writing and Foundations of Multimedia Storytelling at the University of Toronto for inspiring me to use writing as a cathartic exercise to shed certain layers of my life and find the girl I once was: the carefree, loving, and inquisitive girl who rarely took no for an answer.
The second decision was to be true to myself. I need to be me and be comfortable with who I am. I need to be authentic, which means realizing how much my feelings of professional unfulfillment have held me back from doing just that. I need to place myself in a position where I can make the greatest contribution, not just at work but in my life. I need to accept that we all perform best when we’re doing what we are truly good at. We can (and should!) build and learn new things, but this epiphany places my gifts and passions at the centre of my life, where they belong, and encourages me to work outward from there to find where I belong - where my “why” lives. I realized how much my feelings of professional unfulfillment impacted my whole life. When you put yourself where your strengths can produce results and then work on acquiring the skills and knowledge to fully realize your strengths, you gain a sense of fulfillment and a connection that your contribution directly relates to your passion and purpose.
The third decision I made with my husband. For the last half of the year, I’ve wondered on more than one occasion if I would be fired. Together, we decided if that happens - fine. I would take my time to figure out what I wanted to do that would make me happy. If I could be happy and find fulfillment in the Communication and Education role, then so be it. And even if it was not working, or if the transition in reporting structure launched a series of steps to try to enrage my inner Taurus Bull into quitting, conveniently saving them a sizeable separation package, I would stick with it. Ultimately, I would not quit unless I was paid to quit.
Let me tell you, making a decision like that can be liberating; the unwavering support of my husband and the knowledge that I was not alone gave me the strength and resolve to go back to work.
Originally published on November 8, 2020 (https://girlintheredhatblog.wordpress.com/)
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